By Gabbi Armstrong
Communications Project Manager for the North Coast 500
Published: 17th April 2018

40 Reasons Why You Should NEVER EVER EVER visit Caithness. Ever.

Kenneth McElroy from Caithness Broch Project (a previous NC500 employee) has a stark warning for all of you planning a visit to mainland Scotland’s most northerly county…

1. Want to visit Caithness? Prepare for an underwhelming experience…

Image by Maciej Winiarcyk, Loch of Camster

2. Firstly, there’s the abysmal weather. There’s never been a beach day in Caithness!

Image by Alexdubber, Dunnet Head Lighthouse

But with beaches like these, why would you bother? They’re so deserted!

Image by Chris Sinclair Photography, Dunnet Bay

3. Caithness is just so remote and dull. Who could enjoy all of this?

Image by Land of Light Photography, Castle Sinclair Girnigoe at sunrise

4. Or sights like this?

Image by Karon Jappy, Forss River And Forss Mill

5. Let’s face it. Caithness is just not very colourful at all. Just look at this drab sunrise!

6. The sunsets aren’t much better either.

Image by Paul Arrowsmith, Thurso Beach To Scrabster Bay

7. And once the sun’s gone, don’t expect much else either…

8. Nope, nothing to see here!

Image by Chris Sinclair Photography, Castlehill

9. Besides, your view will be obstructed by all these ancient monuments.

Image by Chris Sinclair Photography, Camster Cairns

10. Which aren’t even impressive in the day time anyway!

Image by Chris Sinclair Photography, Camster Cairns

11. And just who on earth would be interested by Caithness’ numerous mystical and enigmatic brochs?

12.  Or this secret poem, beautifully carved into the rocks?

Image by Kennth McElroy

I’m not telling you where this is – it’s a secret!

13.Or Caithness’ array of the Game-Of-Thrones style castles – BORING!

Image Chris Sinclair Photography, Sinclair Girnigoe Castle

14. Another incredible castle…yawn!

By Andrew Simpson,Keiss Castle

15. Castle of Mey? More like Castle of ‘Meh’!

16. The visitors are no too shabby either!

17. But I suppose Caithness has some ALRIGHT walks, like Whaligoe Steps…

Image by Ann Brent Wilfort,Whaligoe Steps

Wait a second, you want me to climb HOW MANY STEPS?

(330, to be precise…)

18. At least the rest of Caithness is famously flat and boring. No challenging peaks to conquer, phew!

Image by Stephen Gibb, Morven From Maidens Pap

19. In fact the scenery in Caithness is rather boring.

Image by Charles Tait, Stacks Of Duncansby

I suppose some (weird) people would find this impressive.

20. And some (even weirder) people who would enjoy sailing through this massive sea arch!

Caithness Seacoast, Inside Cave

21. Of course don’t bother looking for wildlife if you’re out and about.

Image by Colin Campbell Photography, puffin at Duncasby

Puffins? Never heard of them.

22. Because there’s nothing.

Image by Karen Munro, Orca performing ‘spotting’ along the Caithness coast.

23. Caithness in not a place for nature lovers

Image by Karen Munro – Twit-twho’s taking a photo of me? (Sorry). A short-eared owl in Caithness.

24. And if you saw a cute baby animal, you’re probably just imagining things…

Image by Karen Munro, Baby seal pup…can’t handle…the cuteness!

25. Generally Caithness is void of anything remotely wild…

Image by Colin Campbell Photography
Braying deer on the Caithness moorland

26. …Not least the supposedly world class waves!

Image by Karen Munro
Surf by Thurso East

Nope, Caithness sure doesn’t have surf conditions perfect for beginners and professionals alike….OH GREAT LOOK, ANOTHER CASTLE!

27. And it’s not like there’s anywhere you can eat to top up your energy levels.

Image by Y-Not in Thurso

28. Nor is there anywhere that does fine dining with the fresh and delicious local produce!

Image by Mackay’s Hotel in their No.1 Bistro Restaurant

29. Especially for those who dislike seafood!

Image by Captain’s Galley Restaurant, Scrabster

30. Caithness can’t even do a good cup of coffee…

31. It’s not like there’s an award-winning gin distillery in Caithness, is there?

32. If you’re planning on visiting – forget it. All Caithness is good for is some signpost…

Image by Natural Retreats, John o’Groats

There’s not even anywhere nice to stay!

Image by Natural Retreats, John o’Groats

33. I mean how could anyone get to sleep with all those dazzling colours outside! Ridiculous!

Image by Natural Retreats, John o’Groats

34. Or the chance to stay in a luxury castle or tree house! Eugh no thanks!

****

Photo: Ackergill Tower Hotel and their treehouse!

Europe’s largest tree house!… Aye!

35. Caithness is not for the arty types either!

Far North Gifts, spring sunset over Freswick

36. Pfft! Culture, you got to be kidding me!

****

Photo by Mey House: Luxury Rooms and Breakfast at the Mey Games.

….As you can see there is no fun to be had at local events!

37. Award winning whisky.. you’ll be lucky!

38. If you want to run around with a ball and a stick then be my guest…!

A hidden gem in the north Highlands? Really

39. Our hairy Heilan Cooos – you won’t find them here!

Image by Farm Buggy Tours, Highland Cows

40. Let me make myself clear:

You. Will. Not. Fall. Madly. In. Love. With. Caithness.

Photo by Pauline Craw, Dunbeath

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